Her endless life story starts in Beirut
In the process of knowing You, i am knowing who i really am.
The old imprinted wounds do not define me, but by knowing You i know who i am. My fears and weaknesses that i hide sacredly only You know them. You reach out to the most deepest feelings that i can’t speak of by words. You know my heart and what it yearns. You know my past and my future. My whole life is in your hands. It is true that you are molding me. Though it is a bit hurtful but the final piece will come out just perfectly. I did not know myself before i met You. I was indifferent. But it was in the process of seeking and knowing You, that i began to know myself. I understood who i was and who You want me to become. I fell into a trap many times and lost my way back to You but You couldn’t bear to see me fall every time and neither did You leave me there, rather You pulled me out from the pit i had fallen into. You knew i needed someone to save me from all this misery i had placed myself into. The sudden feel of guilt, being unloved, low morality and self-esteem had me restrained and led me to the path of destruction. What i have done in the past is unforgettable and might be unforgivable to those who don’t know You, but it’s a process; a process of finding ourselves. Every phase i go through, i find myself a little more and along with it comes pain more and more. But without pain, how can i learn to become myself- the person i am destined to be. How can i stand still in my faith and protect my true identity that You gave me- the day i came and gave myself to You. How can i let that precious gift shatter in front of Your enemies when You called me to keep it and use it well. Oh redeemer of my soul and the giver of life, You know my sufferings, You know my heart, I plead You to take it all in Your hands because i can’t fight against the world without You. I know it’s a process of learning things i have not known and experiencing things i have not experienced before, knowing that the transitions You did in my life till now are the outset of the next biggest transformations yet to come. It’s hard Lord. It’s so hard to move on when there is something pulling me down but i know You never fail to rescue me with Your love and grace. I got hurt again. But i know that’s just another lesson to know myself more since what i know now is very little. Very little do i know about myself. But You know me very well and You are preparing me to become the woman You have drawn in your mind. I promised myself to follow You, but little did i commit to do so. Instead, i was carried away by the world and it’s offerings. Despite disobeying Your word and distrusting the great plans You have for me, and blaming You for the mistakes i have brought upon myself, You loved me, saved me, healed me, helped me, protected me, blessed me, stayed with me even at times when i accused You for my mistakes. You spoke to me many times when i kept ignoring and doing what i pleased. My stubborn heart caused catastrophe and sudden shift in my identity that made me realize how weak i stood in front of Satan. I felt defeated. But You embraced me with Your love and grace. You bathe me from every bad thoughts that took control of my head and made me new again. You have never given up on me, though i have broken Your promises many times turning my back to You. Your love comforts me. Your power strengthens me. Your faithfulness gives courage. Your patience disciplines me. Your consistency in pouring out love amazes me and makes me wanting to be like You. You amaze us with Your unfailing love that no human mind can conceive. It’s far beyond our understanding, but once we do understand, we will cover our faces with our hands and feel ashamed of our sins, and yet Your boundless mercy will again hurl them into the sea of forgetfulness. medium.com/@patil.kalfayan/who-am-i-ef00d3d5f366#.d5acfp78x
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Patil KalfayanAs you can see this is my adorable Blog, where i am free to express my thoughts, feelings and ideas/information about life, fashion and faith. I love to travel and explore every part of the world. I love to discover new things, and try new things, although i seek stability and comfort at some point, but taking risk has always been a transformable challenge to me. I am ambivert and i have my own crazy world. Welcome to my Blog, hope you enjoy the stay. :) "I went through some lonely years, no one understood me, no one believed in me, no one saw what i saw, i lost friends, God took me away from my job. Then i learned that Little birds fly in flocks, but EAGLES FLY ALONE." Joyce Meyer Archives
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